I’ve solved the Tiger Woods puzzle.
Early reports said it is rumored that he is taking prescription pills such as Ambien.
This report found Tiger snoring shoeless in the street. Ambien is a sleep walking drug. It’s the one where people are found eating entire bags of hamburger rolls while conked. Tiger was obviously on too many prescription sleep aids and does not want the drugs to effect his career.
So the affair stories are temporarily distracting the drug abuse.
And that’s why they pay me the big bucks.
Call the tabloids folks, we’ve solved the mystery.
